Holiday Hot Topic Guide
The holiday season can mean sharing time with people who may not share our worldview.
It can feel like arguing or avoidance are the only options, but what if there was a secret third thing? An opportunity for connection that also left room for you?
Our deep canvassing team has some tips and tricks on how to bring the proven strategies behind deep canvassing into your life for non-confrontational, values-based discussions on the hottest topics.
Go in with Curiosity
Aim to understand what shaped someone’s views, and release any assumptions. Expect complexity. People often hold contradictions, and that’s normal. Look for shared values like care, fairness, and loyalty, rather than focusing on differences. People open up when they feel heard, not corrected.
Make Connection your Goal, Not Winning
Remind yourself that the goal is planting seeds with who you’re talking to. Instead of dominating the conversation with counterarguments or facts, give them space to be vulnerable. It might be their first time speaking to this subject on a personal level. You’re guiding someone to hear themselves think—not convincing them to agree.
Try Framing Questions & Share Your Story
Deep Canvassing uses non-judgmental questions and personal storytelling to open up mutual sharing, reflection, and connection. Here’s a few ways in:
Ask:
What experiences shaped how you feel about this?
Have your feelings about this changed over time?
Who in your life do you think about when this topic comes up?
Share:
Something that influenced how I feel about this topic is...
This conversation reminds me of someone I knew who...
4. Stay Grounded if Things Escalate
If you feel yourself getting defensive, or the person you’re speaking with escalates the conversation, stay grounded in your own story and values, something no one can debate. Try not to match the energy, but return to curiosity. You could say:
“I want to understand you, not argue.”
“I care more about our relationship than being right.
5. Acknowledge the Conversation
When it’s time to move on, you can suggest continuing another time, or simply acknowledge the door you opened today. You could say:
“I’m glad we could hear each other.”
“I appreciate you sharing what shaped you”
“Let’s keep making space for these talks.”
“Maybe this is something we can both keep thinking about.”
You’re planting something that grows later, often quietly.
People rarely change on the spot, but they remember the one person who made a hard topic feel safe. Some people just need someone who will listen and treat them with compassion. If you’re able to be that person, your perspective will be remembered along with your kindness. Connection is persuasive.
Your voice is powerful. The act of openly discussing issues that impact so many people is something you should be proud of, and makes you an advocate.
Next time you want to bring up a big topic with loved ones or you’re searching for a response when someone else does, we hope these tools support you to build confidence and possibly, unexpected connection.
Curious about our deep canvassing work?
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